AFFIRMATIONS, ANXIETY / FEAR, Esteem, Proactive Parenting, Starting School

BACK TO SCHOOL

So, the day has nearly or finally arrived for our beloved little ones to return to school. Yippee!!!  I can see all the mums fist pumping the air and doing a happy dance around an empty house right now 😊

I’m sure many children are looking forward to going back and catching up with their friends again. But equally there will be some apprehension for most. Here’s a few tips to boost our kids’ confidence and tackle their anxiety about returning to school during the pandemic.

ADDRESS OUR OWN ANXIETIES

Children pick up on parent and carers fears and anxieties, so if we are worried, they’ll think there’s something to be afraid of and that they too should be scared.

PAINT A POSITIVE PICTURE

Help them view returning to school optimistically by telling them about the fun things they will get up to, such as painting, play dough, and reuniting with friends. And answer any questions they’ve got to help them feel prepared.

PLAY THE AS IF GAME

If they can use their vivid imaginations to visualise going back to school positively, they’ll be more inclined to experience that on the actual day. This focuses their attention on what they want, instead of what they don’t want. Getting them to imagine waking up to their favourite breakfast and getting ready in their new school uniform, with their new shoes, lunch box, backpack and pencil case, builds anticipation and excitement, while increasing their confidence and motivation.

RE-ESTABLISH ROUTINE WITH WARNINGS AND REMINDERS

Routines help children to feel relaxed and confident when they’re given notice and know what to expect, when and why? Offer plenty of warnings and reminders fifteen to ten minutes beforehand, such as at meal and bedtimes, to mentally and physically prepare them.

ENCOURAGE SLEEP

Sleep is vital in restoring children’s mental and physical development and growth. Set a regular bedtime time and routine for a good night sleep, such as, 7pm -bath, brush teeth, bedtime story. Keep to this even at the weekend.

PROMOTE EXERCISE

Exercise is important to childrens emotional as well as physical wellbeing.  Children who exercise learn and concentrate better at school, improve their memory and release endorphins, reducing or preventing depression or anxiety.  Wean them off the screen using the ‘Bursts of Fitness 15 Minute Rule’ For every fifteen minutes of sedentary play, i.e. Watching TV, they then have to take a break to run up and down the stairs/garden/hallway or wherever is suitable and convenient, fifteen times, before they resume watching TV for another fifteen minutes. Repeated every fifteen minutes.

3 HAPPY THINGS

Before bed ask them to think of three thing’s they were happy for in their day, remembering the good parts keeps them grateful and focused on the positives.

THE BOTHER BOX

Prevent worries building up in their head or going unaddressed by creating a ‘Bother Box’. Find an old shoebox and ask your child to decorate it as they choose with paint, crayons, or stickers. Buy a pack of copier paper and whenever they’re bothered by something, encourage them to draw a picture of whatever is bothering them and place it in the box. Then sit down together and go through the concerns in the box. As they get older, they can exchange drawing pictures for writing their worries down on post it notes, or in a journal or diary.

AFFIRMATIONS

These are positive statements said as if they’re already true, used to counteract and overcome a negative, unhelpful belief, relieve fears and anxiety, and to reaffirm something wanted. If they are nervous about returning to school, affirmations can bring about positive thoughts and feelings.

Ask them to practice saying aloud;

‘I enjoy going to school and playing with all my friends.’

Giving our children tools and techniques such as these, gives them coping mechanisms and preventative tools to manage their thoughts and feelings, before they need them. 

Mumatherapy Facebook Friendship Group

As mum’s we also need some support sometimes too, that’s why Happy Childcare has now set up its Facebook Mumatherapy Support Group. It’s a friendship support group for Mum’s that’s intended to be a safe place to air our inner most thoughts and feelings, with like-minded others, in a closed, supportive group. Sharing helpful parenting advice and providing some helpful tools and techniques, to alleviate stress and anxiety and increase confidence and self -esteem, such as, hypnosis, guided meditations, EFT and affirmations and quotes. The only goal is to love one another like you would your best friend or sister, without judgement. It’s also a place to share the joys of motherhood too and your own successes and achievements. A positive place to feel loved, loving and lovable. Please join with an open mind.

We welcome you to join us here.

Next week we will meet little Archie the pint sized entrepreneur, that turned a home schooling project into a profitable business!

Until then, Stay Present,

Em x

AFFIRMATIONS, Behaviour, Powerful Parents, Proactive Parenting, Stay Present, U Time

FREE GIFT FOR YOU

If Cabin Fever has set in due to Covid-19 lock down, then relax and take 2 minutes out of your day for some much needed #UTime and watch this short video to ease your mind.

The most proactive thing we can do to influence our children is to be a positive role model for them to follow and for this we need to behave appropriately ourselves, which can often be challenging when our children are pushing us to our limits and triggering our angry buttons. Particularly now when we can’t seem to escape.

AFFIRMATIONS

Affirmations are a great aid in lifting up moods, releasing tension and creating confidence.

For fun try this little exercise now.

Say three times with a big smile on your face;

‘I feel good.’

‘I feel good.’

‘I feel good.’

And feel how good that feels.

You can literally feel how good that feels, can you not?

USING AFFIRMATIONS WITH OUR CHILDREN

And affirmations can be most beneficial and helpful for our children too!

Where negative statements can be accepted as true in our children’s mind, so too can positive statements. We call these Affirmations, and they can be used to counteract and overcome a negative, unhelpful belief, or reaffirm something wanted, bringing about positive thoughts and feelings. They’re positive statements said as if they are already true.

While saying it, we simply can’t, but not feel good. We may feel a bit silly saying them at first, but children are less self-conscious. They will find affirmations a fun way to program their minds and to plant and grow positive suggestions in their subconscious. But what’s really great is if they can accept these positive suggestions while young, then there will be less reprogramming to be done as they get older. 

To encourage this habit, they need to think of a positive statement in the present tense that they can relate to. The language needs to be simple, using words they would use in everyday speech and that’s appropriate for their understanding. If too complex, they’ll be less likely to understand or take the statements on board. It’s better they choose their own affirmations they feel comfortable with saying, these can be written if the child is old enough, to compliment and reinforce the verbal affirmation, but are best said aloud repeatedly.

They need to be short, simple, positive, uplifting, motivating, and believable. Such as; ‘I am now learning more and more every day.’

Whenever they encounter difficulties, we can try and encourage them to repeat to themselves these positive, affirming, statements;

‘I can do it!’

‘Anything is possible.’

REPETITION IS KEY

Repetition is key to affirmations and the more they practise using positive affirmations, the easier they get and the better they start to feel about themselves and their capabilities.

This probably won’t surprise you to know, but while children are speaking and thinking positively about themselves, it’s impossible for them to think negatively, and then fear, worry, anxiety, anger, and frustration disappear (Same for us grownups too!).

This is useful if they are struggling in some area, such as learning how to read, instead of listening to their self-defeating mental chatter, they can replace it with positive self-talk and could say;

‘I enjoy learning how to read, reading is fun, and I am now finding it easier and easier to read.’  We can clearly understand how this approach is more helpful than what children usually say such as;

‘I can’t read, I hate reading, it’s hard.’ Convincing themselves with their own words that they cannot read, not realising that they are the ones holding themselves back. Children confuse lack of experience and confidence in something, such as reading, as a lack of ability, and believe they do not, cannot, and will never be able to do it. Any mistakes they encounter only reinforce this, knocking their confidence further.

Giving our children tools and techniques such as using ‘affirmations’ gives them coping mechanisms and preventative tools to cope, before they need them. 

As a society, we don’t tend to address our children’s mental health until it really demands attention, at this point, we are usually quite late in the intervention process.

Especially when it comes to anxiety. We think they’ll get over it, grow out of it, etc… but it builds and builds until it becomes an explosive, volatile, emotional bomb, too hot for us to handle!

THE POWER IS IN OUR HANDS

How we react and respond in the heat of them moment makes a huge impact on our childrens well -being.

Think for a moment of the most, angriest, anxious, uptight, on edge person you have ever known.

Now try to recall how that person made you feel when in their company.

I bet you didn’t feel relaxed and at ease.

You probably also felt anxious and on edge around them.

You can feel this negative energy. Like a contagious virus, it spreads to others.

Likewise, positive, calm, relaxed, and happy people spread those feel-good, healthy feelings too.

What kind of feelings are you sharing with your child, and how do you think they feel as a result?

If you haven’t already then, to unwind and de stress watch this affirmations video that I’ve created to help you, and allow those images and words to wash over you like a sea of tranquillity. Watch it at least twice a day for the next 30 days and you’ll start to feel a lot calmer and at ease.

And if you would like to learn more about Present Parenting or are still having any issue’s managing your child’s unwanted behaviour, you may like to read my book, The Powerful Proactive Parent’s Guide to Present Parenting.

Available from Amazon and all good book stockists now for pre-order along with my other book The Confident Parent’s Guide to Raising a Happy, Healthy & Successful Child (Kindle edition available to down load now).

Stay Powerful, Stay Proactive and most importantly Stay Present,

Love and best wishes, Em x

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LOVED UP OR LONELY THIS VALENTINES DAY?

LOVED UP OR LONELY THIS VALENTINES DAY?

BOO HOO!!!

It’s that time of year again that loved up hopeless romantic’s love, and lonely singletons loathe – Valentine’s Day!

But whether you’re single, in the honeymoon period of a new relationship, or have been married for years, there’s one person that deserves your love more than anyone else – YOU!

‘You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.’ Buddha


You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.’ Buddha

IF YOU HAVEN’T GOT ANYTHING NICE TO SAY, SAY IT ANYWAY!

Over the years as we grow up, we start listening to other people’s opinions about us, and any criticism received we tend to remember.

Then when things go wrong or we make mistakes, we tell ourselves that others peoples negative views were right. We then add to them by mentally berating ourselves, turning other people’s false opinions of us, into self -fulfilling prophecies i.e. a reality.

But we can all be more loving towards ourselves. By remembering that any criticism from another person is just their opinion. And as long as we don’t believe it and join in with the hate campaign, then it’s not true.

This means not ruminating over or joining in with that negative mental chatter that goes on in our own minds, that never seems to shut up!

Instead practice talking to yourself lovingly. Affirmations are a great way to practice loving yourself more, they are simply positive statements said in the present tense.

For example, whenever you make a mistake, instead of calling yourself ‘Stupid!’

Reassure yourself that you are always doing your best and say;

‘I am doing the best that I can at this time, and my best is always good enough’

And repeat this affirmation often.

You can say it quietly in your mind or you can proclaim it out loud, whatever makes you feel the most comfortable?

But never underestimate the power of your words on your subconscious mind, affirmations work!

PHYSICAL ATTRACTION

It’s a good idea to take loving care of our physical bodies too.

After all, its the only body that we will ever own?

If we can start to notice the good parts of our body, more than the bits we don’t like, then we can learn to love the skin we are in.

Take a look at your body each morning in the mirror and focus on the bits you love.

You might have nice legs or a nice smile?

Whatever you like focus on that. The more you can love and accept yourself exactly as you are today, the more likely you are to attract someone who also loves you as you are.

And the more inclined you will be to take care of your physically body. That means if there’s bits you dislike now, then in the future with time and loving care, they will soon change for the better.

Focusing on our negative aspects only makes us feel worse about ourselves. And when we don’t feel good, we are more inclined to poison ourselves with alcohol, cigarettes, drugs and junk food.

LOVE FOOD & FOOD WILL LOVE YOU

If we can form a healthy, loving, relationship with food too.

Such as choosing to eat healthy, nutritious, natural foods, like fresh fruit and vegetables, lean meat and fish, and drinking plenty of water.

Then food will love us back.

If we eat well then food will give us energy and nutrients to keep us slim and trim. If we constantly eat junk food however, we will gain excess weight through empty calories and will feel tired, sluggish, and irritable.

WORK YOUR BODY

When we act and feel this way as well as looking and feeling unfit, we can lack health and vitality, and may find it hard to really love ourselves.

To burn calories, increase our energy levels and release feel good chemicals in our bodies, then we need to keep as active as we can, on a daily basis.

Our bodies are designed to move about, so move whenever you can.

You don’t need to go to the gym to keep fit, just move.

Doing house work, walking the dog, dancing, playing with the children, all burn calories. So, we have no excuse not to get up and get going now!

Your body will love you for it!

MAKE A DATE WITH YOURSELF

No Valentine to take you to the cinema?

Then go it alone, or make time for yourself to do those things you love that simply make ‘YOU’ happy.

A soak in a bubble bath with a magazine, a cuppa and a good book, painting, fishing, football, knitting, whatever you choose to do, schedule time in your diary to prioritise YOU Time!

TREAT YOURSELF

A treat once in a while can make us feel good!

You may not have a partner to spoil you this Valentine’s Day?

But you are still worth treating, so spoil yourself.

A treat once in a while can make us feel good.

So, go and buy yourself some chocolate, perfume, aftershave, flowers, beer or bubbly and a take- away, and curl up on the sofa with yourself.

This way at least someone loves you. And you’ll never leave you if you love yourself right.

And once you truly love yourself, others will love you too!

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY EVERYONE!