U Time

Returning to Work after Children

Going back to work after spending time at home, looking after the children, can be nerve wracking. But there comes a point for most of us, when we feel ready to get back into it, or feel we need to financially return to work.

There’s also those mums amongst us, who may never have had a job or career before and now feel ready to take on a new challenge, and that can be a scary prospect initially.

It’s also a very exciting time!

Nerves and excitement are much they same, those fluttering butterflies you feel in your stomach when you fall in love, feel the same as those you feel when going for a job interview.  So, let’s not confuse our excitement for the journey ahead, as all bad.

IT’S AN INSIDE JOB!

Still feeling like a bag of nerves contemplating job interviews?

Well time to turn your anxiety and fear into courageous confidence instead!

Read on to discover how, when it comes to job interviews, getting hired is an ‘inside job’ that can work for you.

YOU’RE WORTH MORE

When looking for employment people tend to stay within financial income comfort zones, and cap the amount they think they are worth.

When clients who are looking to find a new vocation come to me for coaching, they nearly all have one thing in common; they never set their sights high enough.

When looking for employment people tend to stay within, financial income comfort zones, and cap the amount they think they are worth, overlooking those positions offering higher salaries. Don’t just limit your search to a job that is in your current earning bracket, when you realise how precious your time and skills are to others, your earning potential increases.

WANT IT!

Think of things you enjoy doing, past, present and future, and seek possibilities in those areas.

However, you must want the career not just the money it brings, if your motivation is job satisfaction then you’re more likely to get the job you want, and to do it well. Know what you want from an occupation and what you have to offer. Think of things you enjoy doing, past, present and future, and seek possibilities in those areas.

Interviewers can smell the difference between candidates desperately needing a job, and enthusiastic people who passionately want the job. So, take a deep breath and relax!

BE SELF- AWARE

That is why being self- aware of your own motives can help in getting hired or not, it can also help in coming across as confident.

Interviewers want to see how quick you can think on your feet and how self- aware you are. It’s not what you say that counts, but how you respond to a question, so be conscious of your strong and weak points in advance, because they will ask you about them. Ideally think of a weakness beforehand that you can turn into a positive, for e.g. you could say:

‘In the past I always had to work late, but now I’ve learnt how to prioritise my time more effectively.’

This will say a lot more about your strengths than your weaknesses, and will help you to stay present in the moment at all times. If you’ve planned well, then there will be no need for you to think of an answer, while the question is still being asked.

In the words of Benjamin Franklin:

‘If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail!’

BE PREPARED

So be prepared and research the company and role, the more information you have the better. Also look at what similar posts and other companies have to offer, this is useful to know, especially if you get offered the position.

Beforehand visualize the interview in every detail as you would like it to be, and focus only on what you want to achieve. Arm yourself with an abundance of your strengths, so you will be ready whenever an opportunity arises to tailor your skills to the job role.

Buying a new suit or getting your hair cut will also prepare you and boost your confidence, and will be one less thing to worry about. Moreover, when you are looking good, your confidence will shine through, and building rapport will be easier.

BUILD RAPPORT

Remember you are both there for the same reason- to fill the vacancy, so relax and show the real you. If you are feeling anxious and nervous take some deep belly breaths, and say to yourself ten times ‘I am the right person for this job’

If you are feeling anxious and nervous take some deep belly breaths.

Subtly match the interviewer’s body posture, tone and speed of speech, this way you will build rapport a lot quicker. And once that connection has been made, you will feel more comfortable and able to concentrate on the conversation.

A LEARNING OPPORTUNITY

Ask for some feedback, and when you get home write a few notes on what did or didn’t go so well, so you can refer to them in preparation for next time.

Don’t be disheartened if you don’t get the job though, it’s not always the best candidate that gets the position; it’s who the interviewer feels are the best interviewee on the day.

Afterwards ask for some feedback, and when you get home write a few notes on what did or didn’t go so well, so you can refer to them in preparation for next time. Remember to keep things in perspective, it’s not a life or death situation, no matter how important it may feel to you at the time. View it as practice and experience, leading up to the real thing- your dream job.

Good Luck!

If you still need help with job interview nerves and confidence then get in touch, maybe Mumatherapy https://happychildcare.club/mumatherapy%e2%84%a0/ can help you get hired?

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Learning, Proactive Parenting

HOMEWORK FUN FOR EVERYONE!

Of course, we can make a cardboard dinosaur better than our five-year-old can, but where’s the fun in that, if they have to watch us?

Push our children to succeed or push them over the edge, it’s a fine line to tread?

Knowing how far to push them and when, is unique to each parent and child.

It’s something that intuitively and instinctively we come to know, the more proactive and involved we become in their learning and behaviour.

It’s natural we want our children to do well at school but if we become too involved and take -over, we miss the point of what the learning objective is.

Teachers also have a good understanding of our children’s ability, more than we do.

When children are set homework projects at school, the whole point of the exercise is for our children to learn something by doing it themselves. Hopefully while enjoying the process as much as they can.

As well-meaning parents, sometimes it can be hard to let our children do this for themselves and easier for us to do it for them.

Yes, maybe it does feel rewarding, watching our children parading our elaborate creations on the school yard?

And naturally, seeing how proud our children feel doing so, makes us feel good?

But do we want our children to feel proud of our efforts or their own?

Teachers want to see what the children can create and what they’ve learnt in the process, not what we are capable of. 

Teachers also have a good understanding of our children’s ability, more than we do. They’ll know that it’s our work not our children’s, if we produce an artistic masterpiece or solve an almost unsolvable equation.

It’s getting messy and having fun in the process that counts.

Of course, we can make a cardboard dinosaur better than our five-year-old can, but where’s the fun in that, if they have to watch us?

They don’t care how perfect it looks. It’s getting messy and having fun in the process that counts. We can still help if our children are finding something challenging, but stepping back at times maybe a good idea?

Sometimes, it can be possible to be a bit too present as parents!

Learning, Proactive Parenting

BORN LUCKY!

We are all born lucky, lucky to be alive.

But we also create our own luck in life and this is a valuable lesson to pass onto our children.

Last Friday, I won a once in a lifetime Writing Competition with Notebook Publishing https://notebookpublishing.co/ in their #IndieApril competition. The prize was a premium, very exclusive publication solution, meaning my book would be professionally designed and published, and made available across the world!

I never in my wildest dreams imagined I would actually win!

It was you could say; lucky I was chosen?

Only, I don’t believe in luck. I was poised and prepared already. Now I never in my wildest dreams imagined I would actually win, because, not believing in luck, I knew there was an element of chance, that I would be picked. But I had been chosen from the near hundred different entries because, I had practised what I call ‘The Four P’S in a Pod’

To explain what I mean by this, let me share with you a true story.

PATIENCE BRINGS GOOD LUCK

One day, when my daughter was younger, she was having a particularly successful day. Not only had she received a Certificate and a sticker for being ‘Star Pupil of the Week’ at School, (meaning she had the privilege of bringing the Class Teddy home for the weekend) but she also won some stationary in the School Prize Draw.

Later that afternoon, she then went on to receive her next level, Gymnastics Badge and Certificate at the Leisure Centre.

All in all, she was having a really good, successful day!

Then on the way home from Gymnastics she said to me;

‘Mum, I was losing at everything and not doing so well for a couple of weeks, but now I’m doing good at everything, all in one day!’ 

I explained to her, that it did indeed seem to be happening all in one day, but really, when she felt as though she was not doing so well, and ‘Losing at everything’ She was in fact, doing better than she thought.

Taking those necessary steps on all those days leading up to today, and not giving up, even when it looked like she was losing, had led her to successfully winning so much today, through her practise, patience and persistence.

If she had lost her patience and quit Gymnastics, when she wasn’t doing so good, or gave up trying so hard at School, when she felt like she was losing, then she would never have succeeded in getting better.

Understanding the concept of the four P’s and how they had worked for her, helped her to realise that, even though it looks as if she’s not doing well at times, or doing really well at other times, it’s all in fact, a result of her succeeding.

It was clear for her to see that, it was her patience, practise, persistence and positivity in the past, that had created her successful day, not just a lucky day.

This realisation and knowing how important these Four P’S are, in succeeding to learn, will help our children to persist in their learning endeavours. Whatever they maybe?

THE 4 P’S IN A POD – POSITIVITY, PRACTICE, PATIENCE & PERSISTENCE

It’s important our children know that, practise is key to acquiring new skills and learning, not just their ability, socioeconomic background or luck.

They need to understand that, it’s those who keep trying that are the most successful in their endeavours, not just the gifted or fortunate.

Whether it’s learning to tie their shoe laces or becoming a world class chess champion, in any endeavour, no matter how difficult a task may seem, following the four P’s creates results.

  1. Positivity
  2. Practice
  3. Patience
  4. Persistence
Who’s feeling Lucky?

When it comes to learning anything, these are like four magic peas in a pod. When these -four -combine, there’s no such thing as failure, and success is just part and parcel of the process!

There is a fifth P for us Parents too,

 Stay Present!

Uncategorized

#IndieApril: Our Top 10

Wishing on a star!

Our #IndieApril competition came to a close on May 31, 2019, and so we have spent the past few days going over the near-hundred different entries and finalising our Top 10.

However, sadly, we have had two of our finalists withdraw from the competition, but thankfully for the very best reason: they have received interest from an external publisher and therefore cannot have their book in-process elsewhere. And so, with that said, our Top 10 has become a Top 8. We wish the two withdrawn Top 10 writers every success, both now and in the future!

To recap, this competition offers no small prize for the winner. You can find details here but, in a nutshell, the winning writer will become an author with Notebook Publishing, and receive book-publication comprising the following:

  • The Notebook Publishing exclusive Welcome Kit
  • Paperback availability
  • E-book-availability
  • Cover design through our exclusive and copyrighted Cover…

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Stay Present, The U URSELF Routine, Us Time

BONDED BY LOVE

It’s those everyday acts of love, such as, cooking tea and chatting about their day, that strengthens the bond we share with our children.

Expressing our love a little longer than expected reinforces our love.

Next time try hugging your child a couple of minutes longer than usual and feel the love transmitted back and forth. That’s our bonds strengthening and reconnecting us to one another.

Sometimes, stuff happens in life and we may find ourselves parted from our children, whether through work, divorce, illness or whatever else.

In those circumstances it’s vital we look for ways to get back together, as soon as possible and reconnect, repairing any bonds.

If not, our children could look elsewhere for comfort and support and may turn to the wrong people or past times in our absence.

As parents, we sometimes worry that we won’t get parenting right. Believing that someone else such as a partner, grandparent, aunty, foster carer, child-minder, nursery worker or teacher will do a better job of loving or raising our children the right way.

The truth is, no one could ever do a better job than you can, at loving your child.

It’s not what happens in life that’s the problem, it’s how we choose to deal with what happens.

Problems and disagreements are part and parcel of parenting, which we can’t eliminate, but we can learn how to deal with and overcome them.

Offering a reassuring hug, kiss or smile, is all it takes to repair a chink in the chain of love that connects us.

The truth is, no one could ever do a better job than you can, at loving your child.

Disagreements will always occur in loving relationships but if we take action to resolve things as soon as possible, and are willing and able to work through issues with our children, we strengthen our bonds. 

We can’t just set aside an hour a day as part of the U URSELF routine, to show our children how much we love them, then forget to maintain that connection for the other twenty-three hours of the day.

It’s constant connections that keep bonds strong.

Work, bills and other daily worries won’t disappear. They will always be there demanding our attention, but without time and energy, those loving bonds could gradually start to dissolve over time. The good news is, bonds are harder to make than they are to break, and fortunately being related instantly bonds us to our children.

We just have to Stay Present!

Us Time

CLEANING IS CLUTTER

If those visitors are important in our lives, then they won’t mind we prioritise spending time with our children over a tidy house sometimes.

In my experience, dust never disappears, but our children’s youth does.

There’s always going to be laundry in the basket, dishes in the sink and dust on the TV.

Quite simply, as long as we are alive it never ends, so we needn’t feel the housework has to be done before we spend time with our children. I know its embarrassing when an unexpected visitor turns up and the house is a mess, but living life is more important than looking good to others. If those visitors are important in our lives, then they won’t mind we prioritise spending time with our children over a tidy house sometimes.

Our children will not always need us like they do now, but the time we spend with them today will make a big difference that will stay with them for a lifetime, unlike that worn-out jumper that always needs washing and ironing. 

Unlike that worn-out jumper that always needs washing and ironing. 

We can vacuum and polish, until our heart’s content when our children have grown up and flown the nest, admittedly we won’t have as much mess then, but who will we be keeping the house clean and tidy for?

An empty house is just a house, not a home.

Our homes are our family space to feel safe, relax and play in. Children need enough space for playing with their toys and belongings. Sometimes games, puzzles, dolls, and figures need to be left out in order for them to pick up playing where they left off last. They don’t want a Feng Shuied bedroom, with books and toys neatly stored away like ornaments just to look at. That’s just a waste of money. Useless, unused boxes of toys gathering dust, just create more unnecessary cleaning. Toys that are loved and used often don’t gather dust, only memories.

Tidying and cleaning is best done little and often each day. The more prepared and on top of things we are, the more time we have to enjoy with our children. Knowing the importance of Us Time with our children, helps us to organize our time more effectively around our children’s needs.

They don’t want a Feng Shuied bedroom, with books and toys neatly stored away like ornaments just to look at.

Everything else in our life apart from our children is pointless clutter, even the cleaning.

Your Child is a gift, enjoy the Present!

Em x

SLEEP, The U URSELF Routine

The Sun Has Got His Hat On- My Child Won’t Sleep, No Way!

Summers on its way, Yay!

But when the Sun has his hat on, then the children want to play!

For many parents of young children, this means sleepless or late nights, and early mornings.

ITS NOT FAIR

I remember my own two little ones complaining at bedtime, about the children playing outside in the street, younger than them.

And questioning me why they had to go to bed, while the sun is still shining?

Often using guilt as their preferred tool of triumph, protesting;

‘I don’t want to go to bed, it’s not fair, the sun is still out.’


I remember my own two little ones complaining at bedtime, about the children playing outside in the street, younger than them.

But I was confident that, keeping to their bedtime routine was good for them. That’s how I managed to remain calm and stay strong and persevere.

It was hard though, I must admit.

But had I felt guilty and uncertain, I may have succumbed and given in, allowing them to stay up a little later?

That would have been a BIG mistake!

If we succumb to our childrens guilt trips, and move the goal posts just once, we can expect our children to make us move them even further the next time, as they try to find out how far they can push things in their favour?

Guaranteed, next time, they will use that as their trump card.

So, prepare yourself for most childrens favourite phrase, you know, the one that makes most parents cringe in annoyance at themselves of;

‘It’s not fair, you let me yesterday, why not today?’  

To which, no parent can ever find a justifiable explanation.

So, we either end up giving into them once again, creating another unwanted habit, that’ll be hard to break?

Or, we become annoyed and upset with ourselves, for giving in to them in the first place?

Resulting in a no win for us parents! 

REVELLING IN THE RESULTS

That’s why, it’s best to persevere and stay strong from the outset.

If we can persevere with routines until we get the results we want, then life will become much easier for ourselves, as well as our children.

Other parents and their children, (such as those playing outside at bedtime) may take a different approach?


You will be responsible for your children, no one else’s!

And that’s fine for them.

After all, they are the ones who will be responsible for their own childrens health and well -being and managing their own childrens behaviour.

But you will be responsible for your children, no one else’s.

Focusing on the most beneficial, proactive approach, that’s suitable for you and your child is always best.

This I may add, is not the easiest approach initially. But I promise, long term you’ll be revelling in the results.

KEEP IT POSITIVE

It’s a good idea to keep a good balance between, the positive reasons for following the routine, and the negative reasons for not. This means, if our children refuse to go to bed, we can point out the positive reasons why they should, and highlight the negatives of staying awake.

 A typical example could sound something like this;

‘Go to sleep now Sam or else you will be too tired to play with your friends at nursery tomorrow, and that won’t be any fun. And don’t forget that you’re going to need plenty of sleep to give you energy, so you can climb that big climbing frame when you go to the park with Granddad in the afternoon too! But you won’t be able to if you are too tired. And I know you are really excited to do all that so, the sooner you go to sleep, the quicker tomorrow will come, and you can show him how high you can climb.’


You’re going to need plenty of sleep to give you energy, so you can climb that big climbing frame.

Always try to end on a positive.

This may seem like a long -winded way to say;

 ‘Go to sleep!’

But it’s the quickest and most effective way in the long run.

Highlighting the positives and negatives, encourages our children to want to follow routines, a lot more than just telling them to comply or else.

Providing an explanation helps them to know, exactly why it benefits them and why we want them to go to sleep?

Routines then make sense.

And when they make sense to our children, the sun may have his hat on, but our children will try to sleep anyway!

Your Child is a Gift, Enjoy the Present!